ShareTO Darlington, where a man in a suit is stealing a white Audi A4. He has broken into the property. He’s got the keys. It’s cold so he stops to boil a kettle of water to defrost the windscreen and locks.

ShareTHANKS to Southampton-based bank robber Christopher Allnut you need no longer wonder what to say to the cashier when on a job. Allnut, 42, walked into a branch of Barclays Bank Winchester and addresses Wendy Grocott:

ShareWHEN Karen Lueders, 57, of Sheboygan, WI , kissed her husband Willard Lueders, 79,she bit off his tongue. He says she was on the toilet. He lent over to kiss her. She grabbed his genitals and bit off his tongue.

ShareWHEN Chaofan, 3, got stuck in his mum’s washing machine Taiyuan, Shanxi Province, she did what anyone would do: she called the media.

ShareWHO flushed the four-week old kitten down the toilet in Pimlico, London? The kitten was rescued by chance from a drain by electrical engineer Bradley Jackson, who was working in a block of flats.

Share MARTINSVILLE (US) : Police say an Indiana man was arrested after mistakenly sending text messages to a prosecutor about drugs he was trying to sell.

Share LONDON: A woman in Spain has claimed that she is the owner of the sun after she got it registered as her property. She now plans to charge people who benefit from the sun’s energy, it was reported here.

SharePSST! Wanna buy a pair of knickers worn by Queen Elizabeth 2? No, Liz is not augmenting her meagre wage with a bit of personalised sales from the boudoir.

ShareJOSEPH Guiso is now married to Honey, a Labrador, aged five. Joseph and Honey married in Toowoomba before 30 family and friends.

ShareMISS Anri Suzuki, 24, from Tokyo, says she will repair wrongs carried out by Japanese soldiers in China by having sex with the Chinese student body.

Share1. A woman is more likely to want to commit adultery during ovulation than at any other time in her cycle.

ShareLondon: A primary school in Britain married off a five-year-old girl and six-year-old boy to help them improve their vocabulary by writing about their first-hand experience.

ShareMEXICO CITY – It could be the Mexican remake of the “The Full Monty” — just swap the out-of-work British steel workers from the 1997 hit movie for curvy Latina flight attendants.

ShareWHEN MING Li had her arm severed in a tractor accident in rural China, medics kept the limb  alive by sewing it to her leg. (No medical cock up but a procedure done on purpose.)

Share LONDON: An unemployed man has been charged with wining and dining at a series of London’s top restaurants, running up massive bills and then disappearing without paying, police said on Wednesday.

Share MANILA: A dog deployed at a Philippine shopping mall to sniff out terrorists has attacked and mauled a woman customer, authorities said on Wednesday.

ShareLONDON: A man playing video games was so enraged by the crying of a 15-month-old girl who was seeking his attention that he hit her hard, rupturing her internal organs and leading to her death.

Share BEIJING: Believe it or not, a remote village in China has set an amazing record of birth of 98 sets of twins in the past half a century.

Share SEOUL: A 15-year-old South Korean boy committed suicide after killing his mother for scolding him over excessive computer game playing, a report said.

Share SYDNEY: A 21-year-old Australian man was charged by a court on Monday with committing grievous bodily harm to a friend by getting the male genitalia tattooed on his back.

Share TAIPEI: Chen Wei-yih has posed for a set of photos in a flowing white dress, enlisted a wedding planner and rented a banquet hall for a marriage celebration with 30 friends. But there is no groom. Chen will marry herself.