Groom Impales Penis On Rusty Nail At Wedding Night

MICHAEL Race will always remember his wedding night in Scotland because before he went to leap on his bride, Amy, he leapt on a stage to serenade her and in a tragic accident got his penis impaled on rusty nail.

To Comlongon Castle, in Dumfries, Scotland, where Michael is stood on a bench. It collapses. He is damaged. He has pulled down his trousers to see his wound. He faints at the sight.

Says Amy:

“I thought he must have had too much to drink and went over to tell him to put it away.

“Then I saw all the blood and Michael started crying hysterically. He screamed, ‘My ball’s hanging off’. I couldn’t believe the sight in front of me – he was ripped apart. Then he fainted. No-one had seen anything like it, let alone at a wedding.”

They went to hospital. Says Michael, of Manchester:

“They spent ages stitching me up – I had 17 in all – and thankfully told me there wasn’t permanent damage.”

Seventeen, eh, big boy?